As self-acknowledgment expands and self-awareness evolves in width/depth/height of self, Consciousness is cultivated. While exploring Reality & Life, we acquire knowledge & wisdom that can further evolve Awareness & Consciousness.

When a person becomes aware of his/her Soul-Path, can either disregard it or go into the adventure of experiencing it and thus the obligation to honor it through Being is created.
If a Consciousness sparks on Purpose, then another subtle obligation emerges.

These two senses of a self, Soul Path & Purpose, not many can comprehend.

But that should not be an issue for the self, since

• Soul-path unfolds in the eyes of the self alone. 
• The levels of awareness & consciousness, of understanding & acceptance of others has nothing to do with it.
• None is obliged to “make sense” to someone else. Nor his/her Life or how one chooses to journey.

Unfortunately these factors, along with guilt & ego, became limitations of my Being & Living. Shaped & altered my everyday life. 24/7 of it. At the moment, I miss my Being & living but I enjoy some Existing & doing.
What comforts me is that -the way I see some things-, part of my job finished in 2019.
If we are to add the Orwellian aspect of Reality that had been manifested & got actualized through goals, means, methods, … then I can understand why 2020 happened but the excuses are scarce. After that point, I don't live my Life per-say. I fell but I did not fail myself.

Once upon a Time,
while wandering & pondering,
I was curious and asked the Universe
“ How would it be to *experience the Surreal?* “

and the Universe replied.

I fought, stood, fell, flew.
Walked in Hell & pirouetted on burning charcoal.
Became my mental hero while being an emotional ninja.

I managed to
Preserve my Core & from a point and on, re-align and expand.
Re-align with Cosmos [confirmed by existential synchronicities]
Grow, even though & despite of.

...
If I can be proud of something,
it's my training.
[pending for my medals & stripes]

Although it got me through everything,
I currently wait to see if it can prevail over Death.
[for the time being, I feel I managed to remain.
There's still more Real than Fakery]

My feeling of longing is now a past-sense but there's still work to be done. I'm stuck with soul-needs that cannot be met and self's-wants that remain idle in nullness.
I'm pending to get rid off the f*cking thing and secure my self & being from external nasty factors and then live on.

I have years on my back where... everybody , but me, enjoyed/used & messed-up all the mental skills I had structured/trained. All the work I had done on the PsychoEmotional fields and their “horizons” along with the interconnections with the mental plane. On my cultivated subconscious & my conscious connection with it, my life-force & my energy field.

So far, it has all been exploited for profit by everyone else but me. As to be fair, all but my massage-therapy.

I'm tired of experiencing the nasty spectrum of people & all possible volumes of,
and having their consequences altering my life's journey. Lies, pride, guilt, distorted consciences, sick minds and/or Ego's that justify all possible unethical practices as means to fulfill their goals... burnt Space, recycled my Time, polluted & distorted all fields of self and aspects of Life.

The only good that can follow up is to have the peace of mind, privacy and solitude as to transmute everything into chapters of a book I intended to write either way at some point in Time ~ “The gray spectrum of self & metaprismatic ego”.

Also on hold & pending my “peace of mind, privacy & solitude” is “Trifolds of Life & Balances of self”. Nine trifolds have been acknowledged, experienced and owned. The balances are at least 5.

I keep trying to get out of this f*cking situation where in Essence I am distributed to some or many who view “my Life as their toy” and other wonderful perspectives complimented by practices... and i'm tired of crawling in Time within a “Rose Red” situation that keeps expanding or evolving. I'm tired of having folks (whoever per month & year) create their lying-messes/games/f*ckeries using an implant that they enjoy having access to but everybody forgets that I (still) don't want to have in my body.

You/They enjoy playing with it, selling it or it's “types of access&data” for profit, exploiting the access for personal-interests, using it in & for societal warfare. And then they nag about the consequences. You/They forget that i never wanted this piece of equipment in my body but because of your preferences i'm stuck with it.
Do you/they have a list of all justifications ? Of all goals and means ?

Instead of surfin' “seasons” with my massage-practice, roaming islands or mountain peaks and gathering Wisdom from the elders of local monasteries, i'm stuck in the well-known situation and i'm -just- left behind in Life and self.
Thankfully, i've been examining my Life & living mindfully for 2 decades, so I bet I'll manage to move on in Life quite timely, even though too much Time has been wasted.

• Reconnecting with Source lacks Methexis, but i'm doing good.
• Re-aligning with Core started in Aug.'22 and has been achieved. Too much traumatic drama was served since then, of the filthiest & nastiest kind. The kind of sickness that eradicates a dignity as to “see if she can erase that!”.
• I'm grateful for some Sychronicities that popped like fireworks and illuminated “my” Sky, because it's a great deal for a Soul to be upon “her” Path, no matter how life's journey unfolds or is structured.

But Life is still -on hold-. Some facets of it I managed to evolve a bit, others are drowned in the restrictions of the conditions & circumstances.

Winter season's production-course is set.
Some expansion as well.

¶ I am a therapist and i'm bored. I'm also tired of the offered continuous sex-abuse which makes it impossible to work and kept everyday life for oh-too-long in modes like disgusting or unbearable.

My pranic healing practice is just another aspect of self & work that has been damaged. All I can hope for is my previous eso-work on my life-force & energy field outlasts the mess by the trash-fiends and i'll manage to restore all the damage done so far and whatever else happens until the day I get rid off the implant or access is ceased.
// ! still holding on ! //

My massage-therapy practice is on hold, but meta-therapies is gradually developing.
[after my training ~ basic practice ~ reluctant private-practice]
I managed to build a business with just two pirouettes, but I cannot do my job nor can I evolve it. The reason is the ridiculous situation of continuous abuse (where are the Aliens ?)
Although I created a custom-session (“Holistic Trifold”) , I cannot add elements and thus enhance it's dynamics. Elements such as massage-techniques, pranic healing, or other alternative therapies practices.
I can not even evolve current protocols or create entirely new ones, since I cannot practice. I'm content with all i've created so far but there's so much more, like a signature protocol or session.

Soon, my Mindfulness nano-scripts [#DoT 2.0, #DoT] will sprout, meditations too, and there's more healing t.b.a.

For meta-dawns, visit & subscribe.

¶ the Esoteric Alchemy laboratory aims to support the virtuous cultivation of esoFields and States of Being. Still not in a flow but the pillars of content have been created and populated a bit on Twitter.

I'll dare to remain loyal to my plan for “psycho-emotional support”.
Expect it to be Stoic yet Holistic and most certainly on the meta level of esoAlchemy, meaning working with Essences. With my Trifold of Processes “Distill - Transmute - Transcend”, hopefully i'll enable healing & transcendence, support Soul Paths & Life Journeys.

¶ “Philosophy of Spiritual Ascendance” is pending to be populated.
Although I have 85% synthesized, there are puzzle pieces & colors that cannot be added unless Life is experienced and it's treasures unfold within each day.

The Core textbook (or manual, haven't decided yet) already has a complete backbone that covers the intellectual part of out Spiritual Ascendance and it's interconnections with the “PsychoEmotional” facet. This, is what you'd call “Life's work”.

¶ In general, I continuously have ideas from small hustles to middle-biz to huge endeavors. Also in general, I usually do what I set my Mind on to, so be certain that there's more t.b.a .

other Projects {↗ eso-alchemy bio}
 

#ShoutOut • '24 LFG (Group & Growth)
...sending nionic energy with clear intent & strong Will...

People that know their art/craft, can be trusted to deliver in a set timeframe and mind the quality of their products/services from detail to overall “picture”.
The “for starters plan” must cover 1 year. If you cannot dedicate, properly focus, and be there throughout the year - please don't bother me. There is no time to spend nor resources to scatter.

• e-commerce MKT strategist willing to weave a tapestry together, who knows his/her social channels.
• WP developer, skillful at e-commerce who also values SEO & Schema as much as Security of website & transactions.

Additionally, I'll look-up for 3x60' 1:1 tutoring sessions with :
• a Drop-shipping guru
• an App developer
If you are one & you're interested, contact me.
If you know one, let me know.

Support ~ Collaborate ~ Invest
If you like the portion of “plan-be” i've shared so far and would like to support in a General & Generic way :
• Address : - still not safe enough to share -
• Ko-fi page

/loopin to needs :

• ninja neuro-surgeon
• samurai lawyer

details at
“for Fudge's Sake!”